Morning everyone. I hope no one is nursing any serious hangovers today. Glad I'm not ;-)
--'course I didn't even make it up to 10pm, but Mom and Kenny stayed up and came and woke me on the couch to say Happy New Year--and did the same to Dad.
After enjoying all the great visits, Dad is having a rough time. His pain seems to be increasing rapidly and we've had his medications upped twice in the last few days. The pain is most likely from the cancer since it is in his abdomen, sides and low back--all in the area that houses the organs that are being hit by those evil cells.
It's so hard for Mom to see Dad suffer like this--it's hard for all of us, but especially for her. She's been amazing you guys. I don't know if you've ever seen her at work, but she anticipates Dad's every need, leaves no section of his body unchecked or cared for, and does it all with loving patience. I'm so proud of her--and love her so much.
Letting go is the hardest part now. Letting Dad know that he doesn't have to keep fighting if he doesn't want to; letting him know that we believe that he's done everything he can; letting him know how much he means to us, and how much we love him; letting him know how meaningful his life has been to so many people; letting him know that we will be okay; letting him know that it is okay to let go.
There's no way I can express how hard it is for me to let go of my dad. I know that's selfish and I don't want him in pain--so I'll say the words to him, but honestly, I don't want him to go anywhere at all.
Love Marianne
Oh, Mar, we all want him to stay..................not to go anywhere ever.
ReplyDeleteTo the entire McGinnes family: Dan WILL be with us in so many ways forever... We are so sorry he is in so much pain. Love to all, Judith and Lou
ReplyDeleteLovely, and loving words, Marianne. I was struck again this morning, watching you with your dad, by the gentleness and patience and affection you lavish on your dad; how you are just as attuned to him as your mom. You still make him smile! I can only say that you are just giving to him what you learned from him---gentleness, patience, affection. You are truly your father's daughter.
ReplyDeleteTrisha
Hi Mar,
ReplyDeleteYou guys are always on my mind. Beautiful pix, beautiful family! Love ya.
Suzanne
This is such a nasty disease! All your feelings are exactly what I felt when I watched my Dad go through this same fight. It brings back such memories. Cherish every moment - good or bad. The love between a father and daughter is very special - I had it and so definitely have you.
ReplyDeleteLove, Karen
Thanks so much everyone.
ReplyDeleteTrish, I know it sounds corny, but I feel so grateful and lucky to have had a father who has been such an incredible role model. I'm so lucky.
Marianne